I posted this picture on my Instagram a few days ago and had several people respond or send me private DM's about their thoughts on this topic. (You can see it HERE.)
For many years, I seriously thought that my past was messed up and something had gone wrong. I was an "Angry Elf" and yelled at my kids a lot, my ex-husband (both of them) and felt like I was a victim. I thought if thing were different growing up, I would be better, more patient, and defiantly could keep a marriage together.
I was grateful I got therapy but then I judged myself for not getting it sooner! Crazy right! I was constantly chasing better!
After finding Life Coaching, I started to realize that "there" isn't better than "here" and vice versa! You know, on the other side of the fence! It's as good as you make it right now!
Yes, after much therapy and now Life Coaching, I can honestly say that my past was perfect and I HONESTLY wouldn't change a thing!
I actually did an exercise where I asked myself how my past was perfect for me. Here are some examples of what I wrote:
Having an abusive birth father - What's good about that? I know how I want to treat me kids and wanted to create a "safe" place for them to always talk with me.
Coming from a divorced family - What's good about that? I was able to bounce back quickly and when new siblings came along, I could love them easily! I could love just about anyone quickly and easily! (It's a superpower of mine)
Not having a lot of money growing up - What's good about that? I learned how to work hard at a young age, save and manage money easily.
Getting a divorce when my kids were 4 and 2 - What's good about that? I learned I could provide everything my cute family needed to survive.
Getting divorced 2 years later - What's good about that? I learned that being by myself was empowering and that's when I learned to truly love myself for the first time.
There are many many more, but those were some of the big ones for me. I thought something had gone wrong! I thought that the other side of the fence would have been better! But guess what.... I was wrong!!!
So many amazing things have happened in my life that wouldn't have happened if my birth parents had stayed together. If we had money growing up. If I hadn't gotten divorced.....twice!
I probably wouldn't have found counseling or Life Coaching. I wouldn't have become a Radiation Therapist if one of my dads didn't have a brain tumor. I wouldn't have been able to see my mom happier than she has ever been with my dad now and I would know what true love from a father looked like! I wouldn't have the amazing relationship with my kiddos that I do now. Once again, the list goes on and on! (I'm not crying, you're crying)
Everything happened perfectly!
Can you imagine how changing your perspective on your past could impact your life now and moving forward???
Here's your assignment for the week!
I want you to write a list of things that happened in the past that you believed, up to this point, were "wrong" and negatively impacted your life. Next, I want you to ask yourself, "How was this good for me? What did I learn from this event/situation?" Nobody needs to see this list so be honest with yourself.
If you can't find anything good in a particular situation, that's okay! Sometimes it can be difficult to find a silver lining especially when you have viewed it as "bad" your entire life. No judgement... just love.
This can be an emotional assignment, so if things come up for you, reach out. I do a free 45 minute session with all of my clients. Are you ready to start thinking differently and moving forward?
It's time! It will be freeing, I promise!
Let's do this! Your Life Coach Robin P.S. You can do hard things! If you missed a Monday Motivation and want to read previous weeks, CLICK HERE.