You Do Matter... How to say no in a kind way!

In my program "How To Enjoy Being You" I talk about the importance of self care. When you ignore yourself, you send yourself the message that you don't matter. Guess what.... You do matter! A LOT!! I'm here to help remind you of this because sometimes we forget.

Have you ever had a friend that always cancels plans on you? That person that always asks to reschedule things because something came up last minute? That one friend that is always 5 - 10 minutes late to everything? Me too! THAT WAS ME!!!

After a while, people stop making plans with you because they know you'll probably change them, not show up or will for sure be late. Not only did I do that to others, I did that to myself. I didn't know how to say no so I said yes to everything and tried to balance it all. Guess what, it didn't work! Surprise! LOL

In order to keep your commitments that you have made to yourself, you have to say no to things that get in the way of your priorities.

I've been practicing keeping my commitments to myself so I'm much better at keeping my commitment to others. I've had to learn to say "No" and it has been magical! I want to share with you some tips I've learned along my journey.

Helpful Quotes for Saying "NO":

Warren Buffet said, "The difference between successful people and very successful people is that very successful people say no to almost everything." You really do have to learn to say no more. It's important AND it's really okay.

Elder Bednar said, "You can't do it all. So stop trying." He goes on to say this, "If you are attending to your family, by definition, you are neglecting church and work. If you are at work by definition, you cannot attend to the immediate needs of your family. So, when you're home be home, not at work, not at church. When you're at church, be at church, not at home and not at work. And when you're at work, be at work, not at church, and not at home." We need to put boundaries around our time!

TIP #1:

I want you to be slow to say yes. I want you to think through two things. If I say yes to this, will I actually be able to do it? What do I have to say no to, in order to say yes to this? You always have 24 hours a day. If you choose to do something with one of those hours, you cannot do anything else with that hour. So are you going to give up sleep? Are you going to give up time with your friends? Are you going to give up your TV show? Your morning walk? What is it that you're going to give up in order to say yes to this item? Think through those two questions before you say yes.

TIP #2:

Surround your No in kindness. When you say no to somebody say, "I think it is such a great idea that you want to help the homeless community in that way. You would be perfect for that. Unfortunately, I can't do that right now because I promised myself I wouldn't take on any other commitments. I know you will do a fantastic job." Surround your No with kindness. That will make it feel easier to say, "Sorry, not right now".

TIP #3:

Remind yourself that it is better to do 5 things extraordinarily well than to do 20 things at a mediocre level. You are human. Select a few and slay those things!

TIP #4:

Think through, "Do I want to say yes to this because I feel like I should, or because I actually want to? I'm not asking you to ask yourself, "Do I feel like doing this?" I want you to ask yourself, "Do I want the result this will bring, or do I just feel like I should do it?" If you're only doing it because you should, you're going to end up bitter, bugged, annoyed and you're not going to be giving all of yourself to that thing. Do things because you want to!

TIP #5:

Stick to your no. Once you've said no, you're going to have doubts. I want you to continually remind yourself of the good that is going to come from saying no to that activity. Say "no" to something less important in order to say "yes" to something more important

Here is your assignment for the week! Say no to something that you normally would have said yes to. Then, comment and let me know how it went!

I can't wait to hear about your experience.

Let's do this!

Your Life Coach Robin

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